After
After
“It's
not much, is it?” All that stood in front of me was a vast expanse
of white.
The man who seemed to be waiting for me at the top said nothing.
“So
do you look this way for everybody, or just me?”
He
glanced at his black suit, the withered, red carnation pinned to its
lapel, the thin outlines of ribs pressing against the fabric of his
shirt, anchored by the breeze. His expression was quizzical, like he
didn't see what I saw.
“I
neither know nor care, sir.”
I
glanced down. The ladder still dangled below, perfectly still even as
the stratospheric winds whipped against it.
“Lucky
I was a jumper, huh?”
The
man said nothing. His hands remained firmly clasped behind his back.
“So
that, you know, the height...wouldn't...”
He
just stared.
“Everyone
has to climb.”
“So
everyone ascends, huh?”
“Yes.”
“Even
bad ones?”
“Yes.”
“So...no
divine punishment?”
“Nor
reward. We are neither just nor unjust. We simply are.”
“So...”
“Correct,
you needn't worry about the manner of your death. You will be treated
as all others here.” I blinked. “Quite simply, the universe has
other things to care about. One member of one species dying one time
is neither unusual nor significant.”
“One
time?”
“Some
try again.”
“Can
I?”
“If
you wish.”
“How?”
“That
isn't for me to say.”
“What
about...”
“You
family will die when they die. If you wish to wait you may wait.”
“If
I start over...”
“No.
The life you have lived will remain lived.”
“So...”
“Correct.
Your death and everything that sprang from it will remain.”
I
glanced back at the void.
“What's
out there?”
“What
you see.”
“I
don't see anything.”
“Then
that's what is out there.”
“Do
they ever wait? People like me? People who die like me, I mean.”
“Some
do. Most don't.”
“What
usually happens? When they see each other again?”
“It
varies.”
“So,
will they arrive here?”
“Nearby.”
“How
nearby?”
“It
varies.”
“So
there's a chance I'll never see them at all.”
“Correct.”
“But there's a better chance to see them if I stay put?”
“Correct.”
I
clenched my fists. My chest heaved. I turned to face the man. I still
don't know why I bothered letting him know. I did that a lot in life, too. Told people things. Mostly people I knew wouldn't care.
“I'll
walk.”
“Most
do.”
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